the gookins dot net

Christmas is such a good time for making fun of stuff people try to sell. I was looking for a board game I had seen before and searched on “white trash game” on amazon. This was one of the choice items that came up. Oh, please, Santa, please bring me the collector action figure of my dreams!

Neuticles. Because people don’t have enough ridiculous things to buy for their pets.

I can just see some guy sitting there thinking “Hmm, Spot has seemed so down since his neutering, maybe he needs some artificial nads to help him feel manly again.”

This is probably one of those things that’s already been around the blogosphere and I’m just late to the game in finding it, but it’s cool nonetheless.

Bohemian Rhapsody played on old-school computer equipment:

well, beyond words for me.

Did you know that some women eat or ingest their placenta?

And I thought burying it in the back yard was weird.

For only $19.99 plus $6.99 shipping and handling you too can own this ugly collectable monkey. It’s brought to you by the same company that makes the creepy ass collectible “babies” that they try to sell in the coupon section of the paper every week. I find something deeply disturbing about them.

Click through. You know you want to. It’s like a car accident, you just can’t help but look. Don thinks we should have a contest to see who can find the ugliest/creepiest one.

And in case you missed it, it’s your last chance to get the Pope John Paul II doll.

This lady refused to give candy to trick-or-treaters if they or their parents were Obama supporters. That’s just pathetic.

hat tip: PZ Myers

I don’t know if this is more frightening or more depressing. Security expert Bruce Schneier and journalist Jeffrey Goldberg see what they can get through airport security.

Boxcutters, pocketknives, Osama bin Laden t-shirts, and a Hezbollah flag were just a few of the items they passed through. They were even allowed through with fake boarding passes and without a photo ID. The article also explain how you can easily get through security even if your name is on the no-fly list, and how a terrorist could fabricate a knife in the airport bathroom after passing through security.

You have to read it to believe it.

The Bee Gee’s song “Stayin’ Alive” can now be taken literally. The American Heart Association says the song has a great tempo to perform CPR to. Bonus: The linked article has a video of the song, too.

A 1953 experiment on abiogenesis by Stanley Miller simulated conditions on early Earth and tested to see if a chemical reaction could produce life. His results showed the production of two amino acids - the building blocks of living cells. His simulated environment later turned out to be different that what early Earth was probably like, so the results can’t be said to be a model of the origins of life. Miller’s apparatus and original samples were recently found and the samples were re-analyzed using technology that wasn’t available 55 years ago.The new results found 22 amino acids. His experiment was more successful than he thought, and the new findings may pave the way for further research.

Because the GOP knows that John McCain is about to get his ass handed to him by Barack Obama, they are starting to play the “it’s not fair” card. Over the next few weeks, they will be talking a lot about vote fraud, and will be citing the investigation into ACORN as their evidence. The problem? Aside from the fact that ACORN reported the problem in the first place, and despite what the Republican Party will insinuate, there is a difference between registration fraud and vote fraud.

NASA: Space smells like steak. If God is out there somewhere, he must be grilling something up.

Did you notice during the presidential debate the other night when McCain referred to Obama as “that one“? How freakin’ rude is that? It almost leaves you expecting McCain to start calling him “boy” or something equally derogatory.

It has long been a political strategy to use FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) to try to cast the opponent in a negative light. But the McCain campaign is going to new levels in this campaign. Even several weeks ago they were just outright lying about Obama, but now they they’ve sunk to new lows by promoting an atmosphere of hatred and thinly-veiled racism.

Earlier this week, Sarah Palin accused Obama of “palling around” with terrorists. The terrorist in question is Bill Ayers, who was a member of the radical group the Weather Underground in the 60’s, when Obama was 8 years old. By the time Obama met him, Ayers had become a professor of education at the University of Illinois. They served on the board of a Chicago charity together and Obama was not aware of Ayers’ controversial background at the time. Yet, Palin keeps repeating this crap, and McCain has put out a YouTube video making the same claims. Now, if making claims that aren’t true about things that happened 40 years ago is acceptable, maybe Obama should start referring to McCain as a “baby-killer” for serving in Vietnam. Of course that would be a horrible thing and Obama would never do it. But by comparison, it is not that different than what McCain is doing.

And that’s just the beginning. When Palin made those claims at a rally this week, one of the audience members shouted out “kill him.” An appropriate response would have been for Palin to assert right then that that type of outburst was not appropriate. But she did nothing.

At a McCain rally in Pennsylvania this week, the local Republican Party chairman addressed the crowd, twice referring to Obama by his middle name - Hussein. This is an obvious attempt at associating him with Muslim extremists, and to be perpetrated by a speaker at an official campaign event is shameful.

At other rallies, McCain has been asking the crowd if they really know who Obama is. This is getting responses like “terrorist”, “traitor”, and “liar”. I even heard an interview on the radio the other day with a McCain supporter who said she wasn’t racist, but she’s worried that Obama will be “looking out for them and their interests“. Now I know that John McCain can’t be responsible for what comes out of anyone else’s mouth, but the fact is that he sets the tone for his campaign, and by allowing this to continue, he is tacitly saying that it is acceptable. He is a nasty, petty little man. I think I may dislike him even more than I dislike Bush. At least with Dubya there’s the impression that he’s really just a happy idiot that serves as the mouthpiece for the real evil-doers. With McCain, the shiny veneer is rubbing off, and we’re starting to see the real evil inside.

Just cruising through Google News when I came across this lovely graphic associated with a story on uncooked chicken. I thought it was funny, so I took a screenshot:

Seventy-two year old John McCain’s VP pick, who could become the leader of the most powerful nation on Earth if he kicks the bucket, believes that witches are real.

“Even in the days of Jesus Christ, according to the Bible there were witches who were manifesting through demonic forces,” she said. “You can seek from the Lord, and if you find demonic forces you cast them out.”–Sarah Palin

Today was Be Late For Something Day.

Not that I need a special day for this, it’s a fairly regular occurrence around here.

That’s how much we have left of George Dubya Bush’s time in office. Yes, we’re officially down to his last half-year. Hoo-rah!

That of course did not stop him or his administration from being complete dumbasses again today. As you probably know, Dubya’s spent the last several years refusing to entertain the idea of setting out a timetable for the withdrawal of troops from Iraq. Now however, since the Iraqi prime minister is telling us that he supports Obama’s timetable, it is pretty much inevitable that there is going to be a timetable for withdrawal. So the Bush administration has been in talks with Iraq regarding withdrawing troops and they are coming to an agreement on –no, not a timetable– but, wait for it…

an “aspirational time horizon“.

No, I’m not making this up. I’ve worked in government for 12 years and I couldn’t even come close to coming up with euphemistic double-speak that good. (Is that redundant to say “euphemistic double-speak”? Even if it is, I like the sound of it, so I’m leaving it.) Read the transcript of the press briefing by Bush’s press secretary, Dana Perino. She uses the term “aspirational time horizon” four times, plus talks about “aspirational goals for time horizons” a couple more times; it’s just ludicrous.

C’mon Georgey, just admit that you were wrong. You’ve been wrong about so much over the past seven-and-a-half years, and have never admitted to any of it. Everybody knows that you’ve completely screwed up everything you’ve touched. Just throw us a bone, and admit it for once.

Here’s another amusing little anecdote about the Bush administration. In 2007, the Supreme Court ruled that the EPA must make a determination about the harmful effects of greenhouse gasses. In December, the EPA sent the White House a report containing their conclusions and recommendations. The Bush Administration, knowing full well that the report contained information that was contrary to their policies, simply refused to open the email.

I don’t know, I just have visions of George W. standing there like a bratty 6-year-old, sticking his fingers in his ears and saying “la, la, la, la, I can’t hear you!”. And the amazing thing is it actually worked. The EPA is now releasing a new watered-down version of the report.

I can just see them trying this strategy with everything from now on. “What? a voicemail from the Supreme Court saying prisoners at Gitmo have a right to habeas corpus? Sorry, I didn’t check my messages.” “What’s that you say? The house overrode my veto of the farm bill? Guess I didn’t get that memo.”

Sheesh.

I know what I’m making for dinner. This is an actual recipe from Cooks.com: Weiner Water Soup.

1 pkg. wieners
3 c. water

Combine wieners and water in a two quart saucepan. Bring to a boil until wieners are cooked. Throw the wieners in the garbage. Serve soup. Serves 3.

via Kottke.org